Funny Retirement Quotes and
Sayings
This webpage
contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny
retirement quotes. This is in line with the
philosophy of The Joy of
Being Retired Website, which is
to celebrate retirement and laugh
at it instead of looking
at it as a bad
thing.
#1 of
Top-Ten Funny Retirement Quotes
Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it,
too.
- Charles Baxter in the
The Feast of Love
#2 of
Top-Ten Funny Retirement Quotes
Viva la retirement, grab it by the
horns and go for it.
- Cheryl Marland at the Retirement Blog But What
Now
#3 of
Top-Ten Funny Retirement Quotes
Retirement life begins when the
kids move out and the cat gets run
over.
- Author
Unknown
#4 of
Top-Ten Funny Retirement Quotes
The money
is no better in retirement but the hours
are!
- Author Unknown
#5 of
Top-Ten Funny Retirement
Quotes
I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the
same income.
- Author Unknown
#6 of
Top-Ten Funny Retirement Quotes
Retirement: When you quit working
just before your heart does.
- Author Unknown
#7 of
Top-Ten Funny Retirement Quotes
My retirement
plan is to find a shopping
cart with good snow tires.
- Patty
Doyle
#8 of
Top-Ten Funny Retirement Quotes
He or she
who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't
far from retirement.
- Unknown wise person
#9 of
Top-Ten Funny Retirement
Quotes
Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without
worrying about getting caught at it.
- Gene Perret
#10 of
Top-Ten Funny Retirement Quotes
My only
[retirement] advice is to lay off alcohol, tobacco, and
wild women. Any can kill you.
- James Biggs (104-year-old resident in a Dallas
retirement-community)
Top-10
Positive
Retirement Quotations That Can Be Used as Retirement
Wishes
Here we
have more positive inspirational retirement
quotes to celebrate retirement, many of which have been
liberated from various retirement websites
by Ernie J.
Zelinski including How to Retire Happy, The
Retirement Cafe, Retirement Quotes on
Squidoo,
The Retirement Quotes
Cafe and Retirement Sayings and Quotes
on The Joy of Not
Working Website.
These funny retirement sayings can be used as retirement wishes
and adapted to create teacher retirement
quotes.
Number 1 of Top-Ten Positive
Retirement
Quotes
The
key to retirement is to find joy
in the little things.
- Susan
Miller
Number 2 of Top-Ten Positive
Retirement Quotes
A
lot of our
friends complain about their retirement. We tell
'em to get a life.
- Larry
Laser
Number 3 of Top-Ten Positive
Retirement Quotes
Retirement itself is the
best [retirement] gift. No gold
watch could ever top it.
- Abigail
Charleson
Number 4
of Top-Ten Positive Retirement
Quotes
If my dreams could all come true
paradise/retirement would be - in a little bungalow -
somewhere by the sea.
- Unknown wise
person
Number 5 of Top-Ten Positive
Retirement Quotes
Retirement is wonderful. It's doing
nothing without worrying about getting caught at
it.
- Gene
Perret
Number 6 of Top-Ten Positive
Retirement Quotes
I
really stay busy [in retirement]. I often have to
cancel my golf games on the weekends to go play in
tennis tournaments.
- Richard
Davies
Number 7 of Top-Ten Positive
Retirement Quotes
There is life
after retirement, and it is
BETTER.
- Catherine
Pulsifer
Number 8 of Top-Ten Positive
Retirement Quotes
Retire from
work, but not
from life..
- M. K.
Soni
Number 9 of Top-Ten Positive
Retirement Quotes
I'm not retiring from life,
just a
job.
- Unknown wise
person
Number
10 of Top-Ten Positive Retirement
Quotes
Yes, I am thoroughly enjoying
retirement! The best part is observing my neighbors
drive off to work in the morning knowing that that
their day will be filled with jerks, brainless and
endless meetings, jerks, vendor lunches where you hold
your breath just waiting for the sales pitch until you
regurgitate your pasta, more jerks and the eventual
company reorganization of the section that was just
reorganized last month!
- Bill
Kalmar
An Important Serious Retirement Quote
about
The World's Best Retirement
Book That Has Already
Sold Over 125,000
Copies
|
(Excerpt from a
review of
The World's Best Retirement
Book on November 8, 2008
in the Financial Post)
To be sure,
retirement books are a glutted field,
but most focus on money and financial
planning.
They view the
finish line as the last day of
employment.
That’s where Ernie
Zelinski’s How to Retire Happy, Wild, and
Free
begins.
— Jonathan Chevreau, retirement columnist
with the National
Post
|
More Funny Retirement
Qutoes
Besides the
following funny retirement quotes, check out the
Retirement
Quotes for Smart People on the
Sensational Quotes for Smart People Website by Ernie
Zelinski of VIP Books.
Happiness
is being retired and spending all of my kids'
inheritance before I die!
- Author Unknown
I retired early for health
reasons - my company was sick of me and I was
sick of them.
- Unknown wise
person
The
Republican Party is a friend of Social Security
the way Colonel
Sanders was a friend of
chickens.
- Charles T. Manatt
I retired early for health
reasons - my company was sick of me and I was
sick of them.
- Unknown wise
person
When you see some people work
you wonder what they will do in
retirement...
- Author Unknown
I’m now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same
income.
- Unknown wise person
I’m retired. You on the other hand have to go to
work.
- Unknown wise person
The money’s no better in retirement but the hours
are!
- Unknown wise
person
Still
More Funny Retirement Quotes and Retirement
Sayings
Never get out of bed before
noon.
- Charles Bukowski
Before deciding to take early
retirement from your job, stay home a week and
watch daytime television.
- Author Unknown
When a man retires and time is
no longer a matter of urgent importance, his
colleagues generally present him with a
watch.
- R.C. Sherriff
Retirement: It's nice to get
out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get
along with less cheese.
- Gene Perret
Everyone who does not work has
a scheme that does.
- Munder's Law
If laughter was the best
medicine, you can bet there'd be a line of
high-priced-prescription jokes [sold by the
pharmaceutical industry]. Don't anyone kid
you!
- Earl in Mr Boffo
Cartoon
You spend your whole life
believing that you're on the right track, only to
discover you're on the wrong train.
- Author Unknown
Except for an occasional heart
attack I feel as young as I ever did.
- Robert Benchley
I have retired, unretired, and retired again
all in the past 10 years. I find the biggest trouble
with having NOTHING to do is . . . you can't tell when
you are done.
- Author Unknown
Waiting until your retirement
party is too late to start planning your
[retirement] portfolio.
- Richard Wastcoat
If you retire right the only thing you
will worry about is when to
eat and when to sleep.
- Author Unknown
If you want to earn
your retirement karma points while discovering . .
.
-
The
Secrets to an Effortless, Happy
Retirement
-
The Secrets to
Having Everything You Want in
Retirement
Review of How to Retire
Happy, Wild and
Free
Make the most important investment
that you can make for your retirement right now:
Earn Your Retirement Karma
Points on
Amazon.com
Copyright ©
2010 by Ernie J.
Zelinski
Author of
World's Best Retirement Book
ALL
RIGHTS RESERVED
| 
